Why “What Will Be, Will Be” Is Keeping You Stuck
We’ve all said it: “What will be, will be.” On the surface, it sounds wise, even peaceful. But look a little closer, and you’ll see how this phrase quietly keeps you trapped in passivity — waiting for life to fix itself instead of taking charge.
It’s not just a harmless cliché. It can become a mindset that stops you from making changes, pursuing goals, or building the life you want. And the longer you wait for life to “work itself out,” the more time slips away.
The Comfort Trap
The belief that everything is already written feels safe. It allows us to let go of responsibility and avoid risk. If something slips away, we can shrug and say:
- “It wasn’t meant to be.”
- “If it’s meant for me, it won’t pass me by.”
- “The universe has a plan.”
These ideas can soothe us in hard times — but they also create a hidden danger. They rob us of agency. While we’re waiting for the universe to hand us clarity, opportunities pass us by.
Think of it this way: fate is comforting because it makes us believe outcomes are outside of our control. But that same comfort is also a cage.
Why Waiting Doesn’t Work
Life doesn’t move because you hope it will. Dreams don’t arrive by chance — they grow through action. Psychologists call this learned helplessness — a mindset where people believe they’re powerless, even when action could change their situation.
Imagine a farmer who plants no seeds and tends no crops but trusts that “what will be, will be.” At harvest time, the fields are full of weeds. Without effort, there’s nothing to reap.
It’s the same with your life. If you’re not actively planting seeds through your choices and habits, there’s no harvest waiting for you.
Let Yourself Take Back Control
Instead of waiting, start asking yourself:
- Where am I handing over my power to fate?
- What actions could I take today that move me forward?
- What patterns am I calling destiny when they’re really just habits?
This is where the Let Yourself mindset comes in. It’s about reclaiming your power and remembering that you don’t need permission to act — you only need to let yourself begin.
Studies on the power of personal responsibility confirm that progress comes when we stop waiting for circumstances to change and start owning our choices.
Let yourself:
- Choose courage over comfort.
- Take responsibility for your next step.
- Break free from cycles of passivity.
Small Steps, Big Shifts
Taking back control doesn’t mean you have to change everything at once. Small, consistent choices build momentum:
- Saying no to something that drains you.
- Sending that application you’ve been sitting on.
- Starting the workout, the chapter, or the conversation instead of waiting for the “perfect time.”
Each step matters. Each decision proves to yourself that you’re no longer living passively. Research shows that procrastination often comes from fear, not laziness. It’s why we wait, even when action is what we need most (see The Psychology of Procrastination).
Over time, those small shifts become big changes.
Stop Waiting, Start Creating
“What will be, will be” sounds harmless, but it can steal years of your life. The truth is, life isn’t written in the stars — it’s written in your actions, your habits, and your willingness to take responsibility.
Choosing, even imperfectly, is what creates momentum. As Dr Gabriele Oettingen’s work on mental contrasting shows, visualising success only works when it’s paired with clear action steps.
Let yourself stop waiting. Let yourself begin. Let yourself build the life you actually want, one intentional step at a time.
Is Believing “What Will Be, Will Be” Always Wrong?
Not entirely. There are times when acceptance is necessary. Some things are beyond our control — accidents, illness, other people’s choices. In those moments, surrendering can bring peace.
But there’s a difference between accepting what you can’t control and giving up on what you can. The danger is when “what will be, will be” becomes an excuse for not trying.
Healthy acceptance sounds like:
- “I can’t control the outcome, but I’ll do what I can.”
Passive surrender sounds like:
- “There’s no point in trying because fate will decide.”
The first empowers you. The second keeps you stuck.
Let Yourself Write a New Story
If you’ve been living by “what will be, will be,” maybe it’s time to try a different phrase:
“What will be… depends on what I do next.”
That small shift changes everything. It hands the pen back to you.
The life you want isn’t waiting in the stars. It’s waiting in your actions. In your habits. In your willingness to risk change over comfort.
Let yourself stop postponing your life. Let yourself act today.
Reflection Challenge
Take a few minutes with a notebook or your phone and answer these prompts:
- Where in my life am I waiting instead of acting?
- What am I calling “fate” when it’s really just fear?
- What small action could I take today that would move me forward?
- How would my life look a year from now if I stopped waiting?
Let yourself write honestly — no edits, no filters. The act of naming where you’re stuck is the first step to breaking free.
Frequently Asked Questions
Is “what will be, will be” a healthy mindset?
It depends. Acceptance can bring peace in situations beyond your control, but if you use it as an excuse to avoid action, it becomes limiting. Growth happens when you accept what you can’t control but take responsibility for what you can.
How do I stop waiting for life to happen?
Start small. Identify one area where you’ve been passive — a career decision, a health goal, a personal dream — and take one action today. Momentum builds through small, consistent steps, not waiting for the perfect moment.
Can I believe in fate and still take control of my life?
Yes. Many people find comfort in believing in fate or higher guidance, but that doesn’t remove the need for action. Think of fate as the wind — it may guide you, but you still need to set your sails.
What’s the danger of living passively?
Passivity creates stagnation. You might avoid short-term discomfort, but you risk long-term regret. Opportunities often pass by while you’re waiting for certainty. Choosing, even imperfectly, is what creates progress.
A Book That Goes Deeper
This post only scratches the surface. If you’re ready to dive deeper into reclaiming your power, building self-trust, and moving from passivity to purposeful action, my book Let Yourself explores these themes in detail.
It’s about learning to stop waiting for life to happen and start creating it — one choice at a time.
👉 Let Yourself is on promo right now — the perfect time to begin.